Life Happened..

Posted: November 3, 2015 in Uncategorized

Life is very nice when you decide to live it.
Live it well.
You just gotta know the simple secrets to it
Worry less
Laugh and love more
Put family first
Live in the present, not in the future
Love God

1. My son, if you keep spending on a woman and she never asked you if you’re saving or investing, and she keeps enjoying the attention, don’t marry her.
2. My son, a woman could be a good wife to you, some could be a good mother to your children but if you’ve found a woman like a mother to you, your children and your family, please don’t let her go.
3. My son, don’t confine the position of your wife to the kitchen. Where did you get that from? Even in our days, we had farmlands where they worked every morning; that was our office.
4. My son, if I tell you that you’re the head of the house, don’t look at your pocket. Look if you will see a smile on your wife’s
5. My son, if you want to have a long life let your wife be in-charge of your salary. It will be difficult for her to spend it when she’s aware of the home needs and bills to pay but if it’s in your care, she will keep asking you even when all has been spent.
6. My son, don’t ever beat your woman. The pain in her body is nothing to be compared to the wound on her heart and that means you may be in trouble living with a wounded woman.
7. My son, now that you’re married, if you live a bachelor kind of life with your wife you will soon be single again.
8. My son, in our days we had many wives and many children because of our large farmlands and many harvests. There’s hardly any land for farming anymore, so embrace your woman closely.
9. My son, under the cocoa tree where i met your mother could be your eateries and restaurants of nowadays, but remember, the closest thing we did there was to embrace each other.
10. My son, don’t be carried away when you start making more money. Instead of spending on those tiny legs that never knew how hard you worked to get it, spend it on that woman that stood by you all along.
11. My son, when I threw little stones or whistled at the window of your mother’s father’s house to call her out, it was not for sex, it was because I missed her so much.
12. My son, remember, when you say your wife has changed, there could be something you’ve stopped doing too.
13. My son, your mother rode the bicycle with me before I bought that tortoise car outside there. Any woman that won’t endure with you in your little beginning should not enjoy your riches.
14. My son, don’t compare your wife to any woman, there are ways she’s enduring you too and has she ever compared you to any man?
15. My son, there is this thing you people call feminism. Well, if a woman claim to have equal rights with you in the house, divide all the bills into two equal parts, take one part and ask her to start paying the other part.
16. My son, I met your mother a virgin and I took more yams to her father. If you don’t meet your wife a virgin, don’t blame her, what I didn’t tell you is that our women had prestige.
17. My son, I didn’t send your sisters to school because I was foolish like many to think a female child won’t extend my family name. Please don’t make that mistake. The kind of female achievers I see nowadays has made the male-gender an ordinary tag.
18. My son, your mother have once locked up the cloth I was wearing and almost tore it because she was angry. I did not raise my hand to beat her because of a day like this, so that I can be proud to tell you that I never for once beat your mother.
19. My son, in our days our women had more of natural beauty, though I wouldn’t lie to you, some had minor painting of their appellation mostly on their arms, the ones you people now call tattoo, but don’t forget that they didn’t expose any part of their body like your women of nowadays.
20. My son, your mother and I are not interested in what happens in your marriage. Try to handle issues without always coming to us.
21. My son, remember I bought your mother’s first sewing machine for her. Help your wife achieve her dreams just as you’re pursuing yours.
22. My son, don’t stop taking care of me and your mother, it’s a secret of growing old and having children to take care of you too.
23. My son, pray with your family. There is a tomorrow you don’t know. Talk to God who knows everything, everyday.


Shared from Facebook.


Posted: March 19, 2015 in Life, Relationships

I get home every evening, drop my luggage (if any), step into the bathroom to wash my hands, God knows what I’ve touched all day, and after stepping out, i reach for a white hand towel just outside the door. 
As I wipe my hands, the short 2-day memory recollects in my head. How her smile reminded me of Fiona Gallagher’s similar smile, how she blushed as I asked her out for coffee while handing her my card, how surprised she was when i confirmed my interest in her unlike other flirts who had met her before.
The hour-long conversation we had that felt like it was just 5 minutes and how i slept content that i had clinched the affection of someone special. It was never to be.
The rest, as they say, is not history. I’ll keep the souvenir Terry. I’ll keep it as a reminder of the affection that never blossomed.

Dear Diasporans…We Hate You!!

Posted: March 7, 2015 in Life

Let me tell you the truth as it is..WE HATE YOU! Yes we do! Why we hate you is as a result of self inflicted reasons, petty of course, and some induced by you people.

First of all let me make this clear: when i call you a Diasporan, you haven’t changed in status, nationality or in the way that i view you. You’re still that village boy i know, we grew up together, we wore tattered shorts with plenty of patches at the buttocks, we drove used tyres with two sticks on the sides, we played ‘bano’ with datura thorn fruits. You’re still that girl who used to fetch water at the river every evening after school, who we used to throw stones at the window to summon you for our adolescent rendezvous…you’re all still the same!

Why do we hate you? You infuriate us with your Diasporan stories. You bore us with the incessant comparisons you make…”In Dubai there’s no traffic, there’s no crime, there’s no garbage….in New York we never sleep, there’s a subway…blah blah blah” and the barrage continues. Damn!! How dumb are they that they fail to differentiate the simple basic fact about a 1st world and a 3rd world nation??

We hate you when you come and start bragging about your new-found style and culture, “ooh during thanksgiving we don’t eat turkey….oooh i went to the superbowl…” Please please spare us the details or make them as brief as possible…like one-word kind of brief!

We hate you because of self inflicted reasons like never having boarded a plane before, or not having an awesome life here at home, or because you take all the attention from us during that brief period when you’ve come home. We really hate you.

One quick question, why do you all have to broadcast your location in every social media update/post? I mean, back at home your Twitter or Facebook feeds had their location turned off and all of a sudden you’ve realized that it exists after you boarded that plane to another continent.

Finally this goes to my fellow boys (and the few girls) who are football fans; if you happen to go to the United States, come back home one day and start referring to football as soccer, i’ll FUCKIN KILL YOU!!!

PS: If you’re a Diasporan (or anticipating to be), it’s nothing personal. Cheers.

im horny and im okay with it…..

Posted: February 18, 2015 in Uncategorized

‘Horny’ friends, here i share with you..


Posted: February 17, 2015 in Life

For making life all about me
For being who i am
For being who i want to be
For staying on course on the path to self betterment
For not compromising on what i don’t feel like i shouldn’t
For doing simple things the way i do them
For choosing to turn down your invitation so i can babysit my 40″ smart TV
For choosing to watch that which i feel will be of interest to me and not just because everyone else is watching it
For only watching Blue Ray or high resolution video even if i have to wait months into its release
For deciding to go home on a Friday evening instead of joining others on ‘dunda’
For becoming old at heart and baby faced on the looks
For listening to country pop/rock when others sang praises about one Meek Mill and some J Cole
For choosing to be less social and court my introverted self
For everything i can’t write here because my fingers have started itching from typing on this WordPress android app