im horny and im okay with it…..

Posted: February 18, 2015 in Uncategorized

ConstituentDegree:

‘Horny’ friends, here i share with you..

Originally posted on humourstories:

I hate growing up. Why?

You see, back then when I was horny and had low standards I could afford to hit on any girl.

“yo, what are you doing tonight? Come through!” was the punch line.

Its disgusting to think that I had such standards but its testament to where I was in life.

When you are that type of dude, you attract a particular type of girl. The type whose life is fast paced, erratic and involves a lot of alcohol coupled with trying to discover her sexuality. There is totally nothing wrong with that….. Well except….

Being what I now call ‘non direction horny’ went like this on a typical day. “hey sweetie? How are you doing? I have some vodka at my place… Wanna come and help me finish it?” to which she would oblige.

This meant that I had to shop for vodka, fake clean…

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Sorry..

Posted: February 17, 2015 in Life

For making life all about me
For being who i am
For being who i want to be
For staying on course on the path to self betterment
For not compromising on what i don’t feel like i shouldn’t
For doing simple things the way i do them
For choosing to turn down your invitation so i can babysit my 40″ smart TV
For choosing to watch that which i feel will be of interest to me and not just because everyone else is watching it
For only watching Blue Ray or high resolution video even if i have to wait months into its release
For deciding to go home on a Friday evening instead of joining others on ‘dunda’
For becoming old at heart and baby faced on the looks
For listening to country pop/rock when others sang praises about one Meek Mill and some J Cole
For choosing to be less social and court my introverted self
For everything i can’t write here because my fingers have started itching from typing on this WordPress android app
Sorry..

Originally posted on humourstories:

“I think she is the one…. Maybe she is just playing hard to get. I think ill try harder” I said to my friends on a drunk Friday night. Its crazy how we always talk about philosophy and female prospects when we are getting wasted. I genuinely liked Annie though.

She was cute, mysterious, principled and I just couldn’t figure her out. I became that guy who was secretly in love, stalking her Instagram at 3 a.m during my night pee induced insomnia. (dont tell me that I’m the only one who has done this)

“yo… What’s up” I’d text her on the next day after my insomnia stalking.

No reply. I’d be looking at my phone wondering what wrongs I had done.

Did I spell wrong?
Is ‘yo’ considered too ghetto?
Did I brush my teeth before sending that text?
Maybe I need cleaner boxers?

Three hours later I’d…

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Maybe..just maybe

Posted: January 25, 2015 in Life, Relationships

Maybe, just maybe it was her and not me. It doesn’t add up (it does scientifically but that’s not the point). Everything fitted perfectly like a jigsaw. That conversation put everything into perspective, at least in my mind.

Maybe she was scared about my awesomeness, my eloquence, my swift flowing humor (i confirmed that that day) etc etc. This list is endless to say. How else can you explain it?

Maybe, just maybe it’s all in my head.

Women…

Posted: January 19, 2015 in Life, Relationships

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My friend posted the above picture in a chat group and it was quite funny. What i came to confirm was that it was true to the core.

I met this lady at a retail store, very beautiful. Her name so beautiful I’m tempted to use it here but i won’t. Her eyes talked to me in a way. Her smile summoned me closer & closer to her. Her hair was just flawless (as a guy would see it). When i spoke to her she was very warm & eloquent. We even exchanged numbers without any hustle.

We held a very mature conversation when i called her, words were flowing effortlessly in my mind i was my own Shakespear, humor intertwined in between. We laughed, we taunted each other lightly, all that in a less-than-an hour conversation. Man, i was in heaven. I started picturing her in ‘our’ home. I even saw the face of ‘our’ beautiful daughter, the daughter I’ve always wanted for a first born, running around the house. I built all the castles that could ever be built throughout the night.

A follow-up call the next day brought me back to reality. Phone calls were not being answered, text messages went un-replied. I was torn between calling it the silent treatment or the no-replying treatment (it it even exists). Taking a trip down Whatsapp lane and BAM!! A new profile picture displaying her all cozy in some guy’s arms. Reality check x15!!!!! Well what can i say…i was left undoing the damage that awesome phone conversation did to my head.

All in all these female species are just some unpredictable lot. I think that should be added onto the chemical properties in the above picture (on a light note).

ConstituentDegree:

I read this as i prevent the tears welling in my eyes from trickling.

Originally posted on humourstories:

“Waiter…. Two more shots… On the rocks!”

Here I was, sitting at the bar on a Monday evening trying to curtail my frustrated look by indulging in alcohol.

“Where did it all go wrong?” I kept on asking myself…..

All the sweet memories now ran through my mind. When we first met, our first fight, first kiss….. All the bittersweet memories.

I met Jane through a close friend of mine at a house party. I still remember the neat braids tied at the back, the knee high skirt, the red lipstick that made me fantasize about a kiss, her sweet scent that made me want to hug her for hours, her bright eyes…. Her smooth flawless skin….

We were destined to be….

After months of the usual games characteristic of any courtship ritual, we were finally an official couple. I could finally boast to my friends that I had a…

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Closure..2014

Posted: December 31, 2014 in Life
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Consistency in blogging all year long is not only an art but also a passion. It is also act of appreciation to the followers and readers of this blog.
I take this opportunity to thank everyone: readers, followers, rebloggers, ‘likers’, ‘sharers’, owners of the posts I’ve reblogged and the entire WordPress community. You’re all awesome. Here’s to another awesome year, 2015.
Happy New Year!